And I'm back at it again after a 5+ year hiatus. The story continues. Due to LJ's post size limit this is being broken up into sections 4, 5, and 6, adding an additional 11,000 words to the total word count. This Story is a One-Shot but is being posted before completion. It is STRONGLY recommended that you read from Section 1 on. Section 1 can be found here
or in the 'don't lie' tag.
Here we go. Picking right up where we left off:( Don't Lie (Section Four)Collapse )
OK, SO first of all, I posted this on the 4th and only just now noticed it didn't cross post properly.
And uh, Surprise! I'm not dead. But apparently I missed the Entire year of 2016. I've been... not posting fanfic obviously. Again though, If you are looking for me I am on Tumblr practically every day and I even answer... well most messages http://appleqb.tumblr.com/
(I tend to ignore "check out my site" "please give me money" type messages) Look for me there.
Now, the funny story: I am working on a Merlin fic I'm sure I've mentioned before. It's going slowly (especially since the damn fic is 90% written already) So July 4th, 2017 rolls around and I'm like "I haven't posted anything in over a year, It's the 4th I've had that song fic rolling around in my head FOREVER. I bet I could finish it and get it posted before the end of the day." AND I DID. So it's like 11:40PM AND I'm racing around the internet trying to get this fic posted at all my usual Haunts before the day turns to the 5th. I finally got to FF.N only to find I POSTED Fourth Of July IN 2003! Omg, I completely forgot about that. But the thing is, the 2003 version is not... It's fine actually it's just not the fic that I've been picturing for years.
I have Mariah Carey's Butterfly album where this song appears. That album used to be in heavy rotation and every time I heard Fourth of July I would get vision of a 1:1 comparison of how the song is supposed be (woman and her beau enjoying a romantic jaunt through a park during a firework dispay) to.. well Gundam Wing (two teen-aged terrorist blowing up a base and running to escape in their giant death robots) That's what I've always seen so That's what I wrote. You gotta admit it matches up pretty well, I mean sparkling colors in the sky:base exploding | thunder clouds raining down : automatic gun fire, see it matches right up.
here is the song and below is the fic. ( Song Fic: Fourth of JulyCollapse )
But of course, as I said, I did this fic in 2003 so this is actually more like the 14th Anniversary Re-mix.
The original fic can be found https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1461602/1/Fourth-of-July
It's actually kinda funny because despite how different these two fics are they are clearly the same story. I wonder why I wrote it that way in '03 when I've been picturing it the way I wrote it in '17 all along. Seeing as how I can't even remember writing the damn thing (not true, I vaguely remember it) I guess I'll never know. There's something I like about both fics tho, so I'm not taking either fic down. Though whether I put the 2017 version up on my Website is a different matter.
By the way, My Insane Journal (a.k.a. my fic blog) seems to have been deleted. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, I haven't updated a fic since 2012; that's 5 years, damn time flies. Well, if I'm diligent (I'm not, I'm really not) I should be able to get the Merlin fic posted by the end of the year. Part 1 is done, Part 2 is as well, although I remembered I needed to go back and add a reoccurring plot point. I think I'm shoehorning it in awkwardly sooo I took a step back so I can read it with fresh eyes to see if it needs to be tweaked. I mean non-Con/Dub-con Age difference kink-porn right in time for Christmas, How's that sound? (I'm probably already going to hell)
Well, Ok. I totally said the last post "but it's almost October and that sort of means I should be working on Don't Lie." but then I totally didn't realize it was October until October 26th. Ok, that's not true, but it is sort of true. I didn't equate "It's already October" with "You should be working on Don't Lie" until October 26th. (yes, even despite saying that very thing on September 20th.)
Anyway I'm on Tumblr every day and on October 9th instead of thinking, "You know, if I want to post a theme appropriate thing for the season, I should really get working on Don't Lie so it can be ready by Halloween." I thought, "You know, I wanna do something theme appropriate for the season. I know! I'll post a scary thought for everyday for the rest of the month!" Immediately upon this thought occurring to me I thought of about 30 scary things and since it was already the 9th I decided not to write them down before hand so I had to come up with a new one every single day (with the exception of the final three I posted which were two Universal Truths and the Scariest Thing Humanity Has Ever Encountered. The 29th, 30th, and 31st were pre-planned a week in advance) But of course after I started doing it I forgot most of the ones I initially thought of so a couple of the days I had to divert some serious attention to the tone I was trying to set of the day, which is of course why I didn't think about Don't Lie will right around the end of the month (notice how that's right around the time when I had finally pre-planned most of the rest of the list.)
Hmmm since I just spent so much time talking about it I might as well post the entire list, under a cut. I will say some of this list I don't particularly scary or even alarming but they are sort all aimed at my demographic (Millennial, Black, Women, Liberal, and some generally reoccurring horror movie tropes) ( October 2015 Daily Scary ThoughtsCollapse )
Anyway, So on October 26th I did think "Oh shit, Halloween is a week away and I haven't worked on Don't Lie at all!" So I rushed, rushed, rushed to work on it. The problem was, the only decent time I have to work on fics is when I am at work. At work it is quiet, I have a traditional keyboard to use, I am mostly left alone to work in peace. Verses when I am at home it is NEVER quiet, I have to work off my my laptop (the keyboard is hard use if I my nail have grown out and the USB ports are shit so I to constantly shut down warns and alerts about my device connections AND ROACHES), I don't have a comfortable work space, I have two toddlers that need my constant attention, and I am never left alone to work in peace. So, it's easier to work on fics at work, but at work I do actually have to do work so it's not like I can just sit there and work on fics all day.
So even though I did start to work on Don't Lie, and I did totally break the writer's block/tone problem/discussion it just got too late last night. I was just going to finish the conversation and then post the things. But 1) I wouldn't have time to proofread 2) It's only about 20 pages which was about half the size of the initial part I posted three years ago. SO I'm going to finish the scene I was working on last night, add another scene or two, edit it and then post it when It's ready later on November or whenever. Before the end of the year definitely. I'm serious. Before 2016. seriously.
In other news, still stalled on Dangerous Bonds, I'm trying to fix the problem I caused by making the whole thing from Duo's perspective in the beginning. Found a fix, I'm just trying to make it work in the narrative. And then I have to basically re-write chapters 5-7 and possibly 8 and then I can post 9... if I don't have to re-write that too.
I have not looked at Strange. No rewriting necessary, I'm just mad I keep losing the frickin' timelines I keep doing.
I keep stopping myself from peaking on the Merlin fic, I wanna write it to much, I have other obligations.
I have not looked at Puddles.
Everything else is way way back burner.
- Background noise:Happy Working Song - Enchanted Sountrack
I stalled out in chapter 5 of Dangerous Bonds again... sorry. No, see what had happen was, I was all amped up to get through the prologue - chapter 4 since I was actually doing the things I wanted and updating and making it work. And then I got to chapters 5-7 where I thought I had done all the work previously but then I saw I tricked myself and I just left a whole bunch of edit notes like "**add character development here" and "re-word this sentence" so that was sort of annoying. Now I realize I'm going to have to do that that thing I said I didn't want to do, rewrite the damn thing for the 4th or 5th time. And also, there is that problem where I wanted to just make the whole thing from Duo's perspective but it doesn't really seem feasible. There are some really important things that happen that will only make sense from Heero's perspective. And I'm thinking Quatre's and Trowa's relationship will only be worth developing from one of their perspectives as well (like Duo is perceptive enough to notice something going on between Quatre and Trowa but he definitely has other things to focus on. Now I have to do some soul searching to see exactly how much of this I want to rewrite.
I kinda want to just set away from Dangerous Bonds again, it's annoying me. but it's almost October and that sort of means I should be working on Don't Lie.
I'm off to do some soul searching by which i mean tackling unresolved plot problems.
- Background noise:watchinhg Labyrith
So... Sorry I Dipped out for a while, I do that from time to time. Real Life sort of caught up with me and pulled my attention for a good long while. Sorry I keep going MIA from my journals but well`it happens. So look I never check my email but I am on Tumblr pretty much everyday so if your looking for me that's probably your best bet. (I'm appleqb on Tumblr so that should be pretty easy to find me.)
Hmmm, I think the last post I did I explained what was happening with me, I got super caught up Civil Rights and Social Justice which is still a top concern of mine. I had a baby, he's 10 months old now, and my oldest son is 2. I had a video game addiction which, OMG as distracted as I was by Minecraft it was NOTHING compared to the distraction of FFXIV. I 'm talking months MONTHS of every idle moment I had being devoted to playing or thinking about playing that game. Seriously, I got it for Christmas and it's only been within the last 3 weeks that I've been ok with not playing OK? It's AUGUST. I have NEVER been preoccupied by a game that much, but there you go. So I finally beat the story and the expansion and got a couple of classes to max level so I can take a breather which is why I'm posting here instead of killing A ranks in Eorzea right now.
But here I am. Now as for 2014's round up. Of the 22 goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year, my wish to do 12 was nowhere near met. And even though I know I said in September that I accomplishes 3 goals I can really only find 2 >_< and either way I didn't post anything at all so it looks like I did nothing. But really no, I did in fact write a 25,000 word outline to that Merlin story which is a pretty BFD for me. As I said I did finish chapter 9 of Dangerous Bonds, which I'm still no where near posting. And then I stalled out for another year. *sigh*
The real reason I'm posting today is because I want to complain a bit. Yesterday I lost the Flash Drive with all my fics on it. It's not catastrophic but it is very annoying because that's the second time that's in basically as many times as I've worked on my fics. To explain: I had 2 flash drives, one 8gb I was using for fics and a second 3gb just cuz I had two. Well I was using the 8gb whem my laptop fell. the 8gb broke. I didn't lose any fics by the drive wasn't usable. My laptop broke too, but in a way that it is still functioning but it cracked the case large enough for roach to crawl in and lay eggs. A FUCKING ROACH. Baby roaches crawling in and out of my laptop. So fucking gross. the drive broke and my laptop with roaches basically killed my desire to work on fixs, to touch my laptop at all really. So I let myself get distracted it FFXIV for a couple of month. I finally get the urge to work on fics again so i went looking for the 8gb to see if i can fix it. I couldn't find it, but I found the 3gb. K cool, I put the fics on the 3gb took it to work. I actually got some writing done (I fixed some of those things in the prologue of DB I said I couldn't find back in the April post, yay progress) Thursday I transferred the progress to my backups on my laptop and my dropbox. Thursday night I specifically put the 3gb back in my purse to work on it on Friday. Friday I get to my job the 3gb is gone. WHAT?! I turned my purse inside out looking for it, I found the 8gb -_- which is still broken.
Basically I need a new flash drive. And none of my fics are missing but this is still annoying as hell. And now the kids are awake. I gotta make breakfast and start cleaning. Maybe I'll take some writing breaks.
- Background noise:Addams Family
I completely gave up writing for a month so I did nothing for November. I really don't have anything to say for progress either. I've basically been completely focused on the civil rights protest that have been so prominent in this later half of 2014 after shooting death Mike Brown. I only got more pissed off after the officer wasn't indicted and then a week later the officer that killed Eric Garner wasn't indicted either.
Basically my priorities drastically shifted from what they were at the beginning of this year. As I have always said, any fics I have started posting I fully intend to finish but I don't know when I will be able to get back to writing.
I fully expect my next post will be the the year round up sometime after January 1st.
- Background noise:Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood
Well, my baby was born on October 21. I accidentally delivered Naturally (absolutely no drugs) I regretted that deeply for the first week, I'm mostly over it now, but I hope to never do that again. (OMG NO DRUGS! Doing that way actually caused additional health complication for both me and the baby, we are both fine now but goddamnit.) Anyway, as I said,due to the complications II could not sit down comfortably for at least a week (the car ride home, omg!) So I very much got no writing done after giving birth.
Before giving birth I had been pretty much stalled out anyway. I did end up switching back over to Don't Lie for October but instead of writing more I got bogged down in petty grammatical issues and sentence structure problems, like minutia that I couldn't focus my attention enough to slog through. Actually, looking back on that now I'm pretty sure that was just the last couple of weeks of pregnancy messing with me, it got super distracting at the end there.
So, now I have a hyperactive toddler and a newborn We'll see how well I can find time and desire to write. Plus it's November, which means NaNoWriMo, It's already the 6th and aside from this post and a few arguments on Tumblr I haven't written anything this month either, meaning 50,000 words will be pretty unattainable again. Plus the distractions are strong, I mean the kids plus I've been playing Minecraft and I've been reading A Hero At The End Of The World (I've been waiting for this book for ages)
Anyway, I think I will go back and check on what kinda mess I left Don't Lie in... but not right now, my new born just woke up.
Wish me luck!
- Background noise:the baby is about two seconds from screaming his head off
Oh My God, I got even less done this month than I did last month. I almost spent the entire month stuck on one sentence in Chapter 5 of Dangerous Bonds. I thing that is really pathetic and I'm pretty disappointed in myself. It's kind of like when I turned in a really crappy attempt at an assignment at school and the teacher called me out on it, like "You didn't put any effort into this at all." (which at the time I as pretty chagrined about because that was the first and only teacher I ever had that called me out on that bullshit) but This time I'm indignant because I really did try to do better... Only because I'm both the teacher and the student in this scenario I know that I did try, but I really did put in only a pathetic amount of effort.
So...I finally said fuck it and pushed past the sentence, and I'm still not completely happy with the way it turned out which is less than pleasing. Unfortunately I still think I'm in Chapter 5 editing wise (Hint, I need to edit through Chapter 9 before I start posting again) This is a very slow going process, and it's about to get slower.
It is now October, which means I need to switch to Don't Lie for this month. I "need to" but perhaps it would be more accurate to say "going to" because none of this is really necessity and that's probably part of the problem.
Next month is November which is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) which I always want to take a swing at but the only thing that's really to be actually written is the Uther/Merlin fic which, I just did a word count on and it's just over 25,000 words in outline/rough draft format. Actually I could definitely see being able to double or triple that in size by actually writing it out... And that is a little daunting to think about, that one of the longest stories I have written is actually a guilty pleasure kink fic, purely objectionable material that is filled with basically the number one trigger warning of fandom. Even so, I've definitely said I do not want to work on that until I have Dangerous Bonds posting again.
All of that probably won't matter because I'm about to have a baby sometime in the next two weeks and I remember from the last time how difficult (near impossible for me) is was trying to focus on writing while I had a newborn to take care of, and this time I will have the addition of a 20 month old demanding attention as well. I love my kids guys, which it comes between writing and them, they're going to win.
And then my Maternity Leave will be over before the end of the year and I'll have to contend with work as well. It's really starting to look like I won't have anything posted by the end of this year. That really sucks because it feels like this is another year where I didn't get anything done. Strictly speaking, that's not true. I definitely accomplished at least 3 of those writing goals I set at the beginning of the year and I totally wrote that Merlin outline/rough draft thing, 25,000 words in about two weeks. Definitely more writing than I've done in the last two years, I just don't have anything ready to show/post for it and that's the part that's disappointing.
I other distractions, Um... Super Smash Bros for the 3DS came out a couple of days ago and I have been dying to play that game since I heard they were making it. And since I keep talking about it and going all glassy eyed/lustful over it my husband, being the terrible enabler he is when it comes to video games, has sworn he is going to get it for me before the end of the month. As if that's not bad enough, yesterday he bought Minecraft for the PS3. Honestly, I have never had any inclination to play Minecraft but I did spend about 3 hours playing it last night and honestly I've been itching to pick it back up the whole time I've been writing this post. I am tempered by two things, 1)either I'm really slow or the days are too short and the nights are too long and 2) My Husband is soo much better at it than me.
My first time playing I was half a sleep so I couldn't focus on what the tutorial was actually telling me but I still rushed through the steps and at the end of the tutorial the game was like "Congrats you've finished the tutorial. The game has started, it will be night soon and everything is going to try to kill you. Have Fun!" and I'm like, "Wait... What?" Needless to say, I was completely unprepared and one of the green penis monsters totally killed me about 5 minutes later. Actually I was building a safe spot toward the middle of the starting area and I'm not even sure why but a crater opened up under me and took out one of the walls and left a hole that I didn't want to try and fill. And since I couldn't figure out why it happened in the first place I went back over to where the half constructed shelter had been (I had torn it down trying to figure out what the tutorial was trying to get me to do) and tried to refill in the stone underneath and build a house on a stable foundation, but before I could finish that... dead. And then my husband, who had the advantage of learning from my failure built this awesome two story shelter with like half a moat and a enclosure to trap all the animals in before he even finished the tutorial. -_- show off.
My point the distractions are powerful and numerous. I think I will start working on Don't Lie, right now, other wise I won't get anything done.
- Background noise:Nothing